Ceremony

Not sure that this is word for word, but it is close - for those who couldn't hear the whole thing.

"Welcome! My name is Sage Reeves and I am law school classmate of Brian and Sara and have known them pretty much as long as they have known each other. I have the great honor of performing this marriage ceremony today.

On behalf of Brian and Sara, I would like to extend a warm welcome and thank you to everyone for being here this evening. After eight years of thoughtful discussion, and to the delight of us all, Sara and Brian have decided to get married! They have called us together to make a public declaration of a commitment that they have already made to one another. By your presence here in beautiful San Francisco today, you celebrate with them the love that they have discovered in each other. And you support their decision to commit themselves to one another for the rest of their lives. Sara and Brian see this day as an affirmation and celebration of their commitment to each other, rather than the beginning of it.

Even so, I would like to share a little story from what might have been the actual beginning of Brian and Sara's love. After coming home from a long day of studying during our second year of law school, I opened the door to the apartment I shared with Brian to find it unusually clean. To my surprise candles were lit, Latin music was playing in the background, and Cajun food was simmering on the stove. Just when I thought I walked in the wrong apartment again, I noticed Brian and Sara eating dinner on our modest porch under the Davis sky talking and laughing... and maybe already in love. If you could see what I saw that day and know nothing else about Brian and Sara as couple, you would know why these two are getting married today.

Before we go any further, Brian and Sara would like to recognize their families, who have been so supportive of their relationship and this moment. Specifically, they want to recognize Brian's parent's Renee and Dee, brother and sister, Mike and Julie, and Grandmother Dixie; and Sara's parents Fern and Lowell, as well as her second parents Liz and Bob. They would also like to recognize Brian's Grandmother Rita, who could not be here today from Louisiana. Sara and Brian also know that their late Grandparents Ed Saucier, R.D. Pitre, Karl and Minnie Nolte, and Harold and Adele Braun would have found great joy in this day, and their presence here today is sorely missed.

Brian and Sara, I think it is about time that we give the people what they came to hear! Some people here have known you your entire lives and some for a only a few years, but no matter how long or in what circumstance, we all see what remarkable individuals you both are and what an incredible partnership you have created. Shear brain power aside, you are remarkable for the breadth and passion of your interests, from swimming to Tiger Football, and for the fact that you both have an extraordinary understanding about who you are and what you stand for. You have also shined throughout all of your unique and colorful endeavors, from hiking the Appalachian trail to living in Russia. That might have been enough, even had you never found one another. But you did find one another and this is cause for further celebration, because as a couple you are able to bring out the best in one another. And you have created a relationship that is beautiful, original, and meaningful through laughter, great food, travel, and lawyerly debate. In doing so, you have not only impacted each other, but also those who surround you on this happy day. Now we surround you, Brian and Sara, and return the favor with our good wishes and our loving thoughts, as you state your intentions and declare your commitment to one another.

Now a few of Brian and Sara's friends will give readings:

[Kevin Bayley]: Since Brian and Sara are both attorneys, and met in law school, it is fitting that they chose the following excerpt from the recent Massachusetts Supreme Court case of Goodridge v. Dept. Of Public Health, describing marriage.

"Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society.
… marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. "It is an association that promotes a way of life, not causes; a harmony in living, not political faiths; a bilateral loyalty, not commercial or social projects."

Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition."

[Jeff Courville]: From Ecclesiates

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls

and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

[Jacques Lehot]: From A Sermon by Jackie Clement, Unitarian Universalist Church of Nashua

"Mature love, the love that grows in a committed relationship, does not come from romantic dinners and champagne. It is forged in fire, through the trials, the boredom, the shared tears and laughter, the decisions and doubts and debts of life together. It takes work and the willingness to extend yourself beyond your own skin, taking into account that you are not one, no matter how romantic that may sound. You are two, with different thoughts and desires, customs, dislikes, and expectations. And if you can still meet each other with all those differences, you will know true love. If, instead of giving yourself up to the other, you extend yourself to meet the other, you will have a basis for life together."

Sara and Brian now wish to publicly take this opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate their love for each other through marriage.

[Brian]

Sara, for eight years you have been my most beloved partner, friend, and COPILOT. Actually, occasionally you have been the PILOT and I have been that fussy toddler in the middle-seat of a cross-country flight. Nevertheless, you have supported me in countless of my crazy ideas and adventures. You have learned how to ski, just so you could come with me to the mountains that you know I love. You have learned the game of football just so you can help me root on the LSU Tigers. You have climbed Mayan ruins with me in 100 degree heat, you have braved public bathrooms in third world border crossings, and maybe, most memorably, agreed to go backpacking with me in Yosemite backcountry -- for two nights -- in January -- during the biggest snow storm of the year. While occasionally you have returned to describe how we almost DIED, in lurid detail to all of our friends and family, you have been steady as a rock, always supportive, nurturing, and a PARTNER in every sense of the word.

I know that as we commit to raise a family together, that you will be with me to multiply my joy and divide my sorrows. As we face life’s adventures together, I know we will embrace change with open hearts and my love for you, unlike so many other things, will remain constant and ever growing.

I promise to celebrate your imagination and to help you as best as I can to fulfill your hopes and dreams.

I promise to do my best to nurture your drive and competitive spirit, even as you told me this week that you were stressed out because you thought my vows would be better than yours.

I know that in a committed relationship there is a always fair amount of work, but I promise that I will do MY share in our equal partnership, including my prescribed jobs of dealing with anything electronic, mechanical, or horticultural.

I promise to provide comfort while always keeping you on your toes, to love you when love is simple and when it is complex, and to create with you a home bursting with good food, great books, memories of our latest travel adventures, love, and affection.

I choose to make these promises and, God willing, to live the rest of my life with you because I love you absolutely, and because having you beside me each day will enrich every aspect of my life, and I am honored to call you my wife.

[Sara]

Since we first met over eight years ago, you have continued to surprise, inspire and delight me. Before I really knew you, I was afraid that you were too good to be true, a lot of talk and bravado, with nothing behind it. But in fact, you are the opposite. You stand behind your dreams, your opinions and desires and you act on them. Whether it's hiking the Appalachian trail, or creating a new recipe, you grab onto life and make it yours. I am amazed each day by your depth, your dreams, your sincerity and your thirst for life. Your absolute passion for living, for constantly learning and doing, and for finding what's new around each corner of the world never fails to excite me. I love how you can always get me off the coach to find new adventures even when I think we couldn't possibly find one. I love your ability to be happy and joyful even on the most mundane of days, and laughing with you is one of my favorite parts of every day. I love you that you accept me as I am and believe in me always. I love how you feed me, and how you feed me so well. I love that you challenge my ideas but that you always do so with respect. Because of this, you are the person in whose arms I want to end each night and whose eyes I want to meet each morning.

I told you early in our relationship that you are everything I think a man should be. And now, after knowing you for so many years, you are even more than I first thought you were. I am contstantly amazed at your ability to grow and change. You are loving and sensitive, honest and strong, funny and deeply intelligent, and you love me unconditionally. The way you listen to me, and know the real me, and the way you engage in every part of my life and being, makes me feel more loved than you can ever know. You are my partner, my equal, my best friend and my love. You are my family and my home, and I love you beyond words Brian.

In my heart we are already joined, but today I make these promises in front of our friends and family to publicly declare my commitment to you.

Today I make a promise to you to love you every day as your partner for life and as your best friend, to continue to be by your side and on your side.
I promise to listen to you carefully, consider your ideas and be open to what I can learn from you, even if that means snow back packing together threw a blizzard,
I promise to encourage you to follow your passions and reach your full potential and accept your encouragement of me to follow my dreams
so that we maybe strong as individuals and stronger yet together.
I promise to challenge you when I think you are wrong, and yet to still be your greatest advocate.
And of course, I promise to always love your wonderful cooking at EVERY meal.

I promise to love you when life seems easy and when it seems hard,
when our love is simple and when it is an effort.
I promise to accept your strengths and faults as you accept mine, and be patient as we lean from our mistakes.

I commit myself to grow with you and continue loving as we grow,
to face changes and challenges with you, to overcome obstacles with you,
to enjoy contentment with you.

Together we will continue to build a home and family that celebrates respect, trust, compassion and joy and we will live, learn, laugh and grow in it together.

I promise to be your love, your friend and companion for the rest of our lives. I love you Brian.

[Sage]

Now this is the point in the ceremony when I could talk about the wedding bands being a perfect circle, having no beginning and no end, as a symbol of Brian and Sara's love. But actually when you think about it these rings do have a beginning. Ore is mined from the earth. Metal is melted in a furnace at 1000 degrees. Liquid metal is poured into a mold, cooled, and then painstakingly polished. Something beautiful is made from raw elements.

Love is like that. It is hot, dirty work. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It's the process of making something beautiful when there was once something very different. Let your rings always be a symbol of that love that you have created between you. Brian and Sara, I ask that you now exchange your rings:

Sara / Brian: I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you. With this ring will you be my partner in life? [Both Answer]

Although I'm officiating here today, it is not in my power to sanctify, legitimize or bless your relationship more than the two of you have already done in your hearts. And now that you have come to this day and bound yourselves to one another, taken the vows of marriage and exchanged rings, and have agreed to be married according to the laws of the state of California, it is now my honor and joy to present you to your friends and family as husband and wife! Please seal your vows with a kiss!

Photos are up

If you have the time or the inclination, you can check some choice photos from our honeymoon and wedding at our Flickr account using the embedded links.

Thanks for coming!!

Sara and I will post some pictures for the wedding, as well as the ceremony here once we get back from Vietnam. Note that the Dim Sum time is now 12:30

Welcome

We are so happy to be getting married and are excited about spending a wonderful evening with our friends and family! Our wedding will be held at the Golden Gate Yacht Club, which is in the Marina District of San Francisco.

Weather depending, we hope to hold the ceremony at the end of the marina jetty, which is an approximately 150 yard walk down a dirt path east of the yacht club, near the wave organ. The weather will likely be cool if the ceremony is held outside, so please be sure and bring a wrap or light jacket. We expect that the ceremony will be brief, so no need to wear your down booties.

We also know that our wedding falls between the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays (a time when kids are in school, there are many family obligations, and budgets can be tight). While we would of course love to see you in San Francisco on December 8th, we certainly understand if circumstances and distance prevent you from attending.

Dim Sum - Sunday Morning

We would love it if you want to join us for a Chinese Dim Sum brunch on Sunday morning after the wedding at around 11:30. City View is the type of place that has the steam trays that travel around on carts and you can pick what looks interesting. While this will be a totally informal thing, and you can drop by if you would like, we'll make a reservation for a few tables. RSVP in the comment section if you think you would like to attend. Afterwards, we may choose to walk off the pork buns with a walk around Chinatown and North Beach (be sure and check out of the Greenwich and Filbert steps if you are up that way).

Registry

We are both blessed to have most everything we need, and are cursed with having a small San Francisco apartment with only a couple of closets, so all we are asking for is the gift of your presence (and we REALLY mean that)! A less consumerist wedding also fits more with our personalities. However, we realize that many people like to give gifts to mark a wedding, so if you CHOOSE, given the time of year, a simple Christmas tree ornament would help us remember our special day and turn every Christmas into a chance to remember our wedding and our guests.

If you feel you would like to give a regular gift instead, we have registered in a more traditional way at the following:

amazon.com
crateandbarrel.com

A Note on Children

Unfortunately our space at the yacht club is very limited and we will likely not have room to accommodate children. If you plan on traveling with your children to San Francisco, please contact us and we will see what we can work out.